After her mother died two years ago, Lisa moved her dad into her home in Mission Viejo. At 78, he’s still physically very active, and his mind is as sharp as ever. But she can see his world shrinking since her mom died.
On weekdays, he spends hours alone while Lisa works and the kids are at school. He avoids the freeway now, so lunches with his friends happen only when Lisa has a free afternoon. A bathroom remodel for a walk-in shower and grab bars dragged on for months, with Lisa coordinating contractors around her schedule. She also cut back to four workdays to drive her dad to appointments, a change that has stressed the family budget.
Culturally, she and her siblings feel a deep sense of responsibility and take great pride in caring for their elders. But Lisa has begun to wonder whether moving to senior living could help her dad thrive again, providing the friendships and freedom her home can’t offer.
The Gifts and Expectations of Family
Multigenerational living continues to grow. A 2022 Pew Research Center report showed 59.7 million Americans, or 18% of the population, lived in multigenerational households, more than double the share five decades earlier.
In many cultures, caring for parents at home is a cherished honor. Filial piety shapes family life in many Chinese, Korean and Vietnamese households. Latino families often embrace familismo, the expectation that relatives look after one another. In Indian joint families, three generations under one roof feel completely natural.
These traditions bring gifts — grandchildren who know their grandparents’ stories, recipes passed down by hand and a built-in circle of support. They can also bring unspoken expectations that make it harder to ask for help or explore other options. Whether you’re considering a move for a loved one or already sharing a home, seeing the full picture can help you make a choice that honors everyone involved.
The Realities Behind the Front Door
In Pew’s survey, 54% of adults in multigenerational homes said the arrangement felt rewarding all or most of the time. Yet 23% said it felt stressful just as often. Lisa’s experience reflects what many families discover once a parent moves in: the challenges are emotional, financial and practical.
When roles reverse.
A parent may feel like a guest in someone else’s home, while an adult child juggles work, kids and care. Privacy and personal time can shrink for everyone.
When costs climb.
According to AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, 63 million Americans now serve as family caregivers. Nearly half have faced at least one major financial impact, such as taking on debt or stopping savings. Home modifications, reduced work hours and in-home help can stretch even a comfortable budget.
When days fill up.
Nearly 1 in 4 family caregivers provides 40 or more hours of care each week. Stairs and bathrooms may need updates. A parent’s social circle can shrink, too, especially when everyone else leaves for work and school each day.
A Different Kind of Caring
Caring for a parent doesn’t always mean sharing a roof. Still, many adult children describe feeling guilty about putting a parent in a nursing home, even when a move would serve everyone better. Others carry guilt moving away from elderly parents for a career or a growing family of their own.
Today’s senior living communities trade sterile hallways for sunlit lounges, chef-prepared meals and packed calendars. Moving to senior living can open the door to new friendships, daily wellness programs and on-site support if health needs change. Time together can once again feel like family time rather than caregiving.
If you’re researching how to move an elderly parent into assisted living or another senior living option, consider these steps:
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Start the conversation early, before a crisis forces a quick decision. A few tips to ease into it:
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Lead with curiosity, not a plan. Try, “What would make your days more enjoyable right now?”
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Focus on what they’d gain. Mention friends, activities or hobbies they miss, such as, “Would you enjoy living closer to your friends again?”
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Share your feelings honestly. For example, “I love having you here, and I want to make sure you’re happy too.”
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Involve your loved ones in every choice, from touring communities to picking a residence.
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Ask about dining, wellness programming, social life and care options.
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Downsize in stages, starting with the photos, furniture and keepsakes that make a new space feel like home.
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Visit often in the first few weeks and encourage your parents to try one new activity.
Moving elderly parents out of their home of many years can bring relief, sadness and excitement all at once, for everyone involved. Acknowledge the emotions, take your time and keep the focus on everything ahead.
Where Every Generation Thrives
Opening in summer 2027 in the heart of Irvine, The James will offer families a fresh option for moving to senior living. Every day will bring something new to explore, someone new to meet and a full calendar of dining, wellness and social programming.
Zenergy, our holistic wellness program, supports mind, body and spirit through movement, mindfulness and connection. Residents will start the day with yoga or a swim in the heated indoor pool, take an art class, catch a film or share a chef-prepared meal with neighbors. Assisted living and memory care offer added support as needs change.
Whether your family chooses to live together or explore senior living, the right decision supports everyone’s well-being. For families like Lisa’s, that may mean a home where a parent can reconnect with friends and rediscover the things they love. Explore The James.